Journals? Nah. I’ve got my email.

February 5, 2008 at 6:49 pm (Reflections)

When I was a kid, I used to keep a journal. You know, from the kind in which you report what you had for breakfast and how many times you spotted the cute guy sitting 2 tables down the row in your class. I stopped this nonsense around the time I got my first serious boyfriend. I mean, who needs a journal when you can talk to a real person, and better yet – you might learn a thing or two from trying to listen? That’s the problem with the blanc page most of the time – you can’t learn anything from it. And I discovered around that time I was this selfish lazy egoist who needed to get something back for what she does. Well, if I’ve put the effort of throwing things out in the open, dressing sensations into words, hey, I needed to get something back. I needed a lesson. A reason. (“… got to get back to a reason…” – TSO keep singing in my head). Yeah, all kinds of reason(s). Както причина, така и… другото.

Then I found myself alone again, and there used to come this sporadic desire to start writing journal entries again. I even tried with a couple of somewhat successful travel journals, one describing a trip to Sweden, the other – my first ‘on-my-own’ trip to Vancouver, CA(nada). But sooner or later there just wasn’t enough time left for taking a look around and recording real life. But hey, I discovered that I only need to open my email, or get on skype and…

Well, not that I felt any less alone, but maybe a little tiny bit less lonely. Who knows. At any rate, I ended up not having enough time to think that much about it. Only to feel it – the loneliness. Hence I became less than patient with words, and if there’s something I can pass without replying to — hell, I will. Come on, people, feel it! How are we gonna develop our super-powers like telepathy and empathy and God-knows-what-athy if we keep relying on these alienating conglomerations of letters. And they all look the same, on top of it! Yeah, I’m not sure I believe it quite yet. That’s why I keep replying to emails, and spend endless hours on skype.

So, yeah, if you wanna reach me – you know I’m online. Even if I’m not. So, drop me an email. Unless you really feel me. Then please, call. I wanna hear your voice. I might even tell you a thing or two.

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