“I just came to say goodbye, Love…”

February 12, 2008 at 9:35 pm (Reflections)

I saw love. Leave… At that green-carpeted airport – I just came to say, goodbye… Farewell, my Love. Yet, I am luckier than most people I’ve known. Because I loved, and was loved, truly, simply, out-worldly, out-timely, in a glimpse of eternity, before we had to remember that our bodies and (occasionally) our spirits belonged to this world. Before we had to wrap ourselves in lies and pride and forget who we truly are and what we truly want. Before we had to die…

Hush, be not saddened by our fate, young lovers! For love that is too pure is not meant for this world – it kills and dies, and bursts in flames, and like a phoenix is reborn in outer worlds. And I would sacrifice a myriad of lives to experience this moment of eternity one more time, and I would die a thousand deaths, and I would burn in thousand hells to relive this one eternal glimpse. For many a thing is worse than death, my little ones, so be not afraid to take a chance your mortal being will regret for all of your remaining days on Earth.

Yes, I regret – I regret not that I loved, but only when I didn’t, when I stopped myself where I shouldn’t have. For I know not, here, now what is more to give, to be, when one has sacrificed oneself, her soul, her spirit, mind and body, not sure of past or present, or even of the future, living shadow of her former self, with nothing to believe, no one to trust, and nothing sacred in this world. Thou shalt forgive me, mortal creatures, I am a vampire: I will suck your blood dry, and where not enough, I’ll keep you arrested in a frame. A picture. Do you still dare? Be forewarned!

We didn’t mean it that way, who ever did? I was a living flower, once, so long ago; I adored sunshine, fresh air and sweet candy. I’d make up merry stories with my friends, about bright kingdoms long forgotten and I’d believe in every happy ending. Young and innocent, driven by pure faith, in me, in you, in all the world, in human beings, in love with life, with me, with you, simply in love – bathing in it, drinking it, living it, spreading it…

Lost much on the way, but it wasn’t until that day at the green-carpeted airport that I fully realized: “I just came to say, goodbye Love…” You never kissed me goodbye. But that’s just how you leave – silently, without a word, without a kiss, without a spark in the eye, just like life, just like an airplane…

*

Hello, Love! Friend! Will you be my friend? Will you let me use your shoulder? Your heart? Will you let me kill you? Will you let me love you? Will you die? Will you let me die? It’s too soon, we just met, yet…