First Love…

September 25, 2010 at 10:29 am (Reflections)

Despite all the evidence I’ve gathered recently that human beings are way too inferior to know the meaning of this feeling, I still catch myself believing at times that real Love is never-ending. I know, I know, humans change, how silly of me, trying to be a “higher being” and all that crap. What am I, an elf, after all? Duh!

And yet, if real Love is the one that truly makes you move mountains and go through hell, and endure all pain, you know, endure the pain that’s called life, the never-ending, all-fulfilling, life-saving, light-bringing, heart-lightening, purpose-defining feeling, then we only love once! And forever, yes, once and forever, and we only truly love our first love! The first love that made us brace ourselves, take arms against the world, take care of our own shit instead of whining about it, and accept that we’re alone from now on… that we have always been alone, maybe without even realizing it; that every body, every other person in our life is just a filler for our brain and body. We are told we need to make sense of everything, of our little world, and we start assigning roles, and putting people in them, and think rationally, and… we forget how to be ourselves anymore, how to be true to ourselves.

Only the rare moments remain, when we make these irrational decisions to follow our hearts, to go with our gut, these moments, when the world calls us “crazy” and only we understand why we choose the rocky road as opposed to the empty freeway! The rare moments when we gush our souls out pouring tears and screams into a long forgotten love song, which, hey, we don’t really mean for anyone in particular! Anyone, but our First True Love… And how do you know it is not you?… Well, there’s a simple test – did I change my life for you? Did you change yours for me? Did we even know each other?

03 September 2009


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