Писмо 14: Навестена

August 1, 2016 at 9:57 pm (Letters Unsent)

What are you afraid of, fears of mine???

I spent the morning trying to come up with a good translation for the word “Haunted” in Bulgarian – mostly, because I thought I had already used “Преследвана.” But I’m sorry, this letter will be in English. Maybe I’m finally coming to terms with the change, heh, the change that was _forced_ to happen?

So rarely has it been before that I had a dream about so many ghosts – past and present, living and dead, in this and that world… Parents, and grandparents, a church, a new year’s (Christmas?) celebration, some friends – from here and now, from before, all worlds collapsing into one… and you!… I am not quite sure what exactly happened in that dream anymore.. I just remember you were there, and a strange feeling of peace and joy (somewhat bittersweet, but joy) washed over my mind. I remember a hug, and a promise – there was this one small thing I was supposed to go do before I could return, and we could all celebrate. In the next scene my brother and I were leaving grandpa’s place – he was sleeping, all the time, but then he awoke, and begged us not to leave, but we had to… I don’t know why… I think I was going back to you…

*
Four years have passed now since I started this letter. I vaguely remember that dream, too. But I so clearly remember the feelings.

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