Wow. It’s been over a YEAR since I’ve been here. WordPress has got a new UI and all. And I have forgotten how to write, anything, really, to the point where even “thank-you” cards are a struggle (I’ve always hated those anyway). And I should have been in bed a long time ago. Something is gnawing at me though. I’ll give it a shot. Ha, pun intended!
Let’s go the roundabout way. In said more-than-one year, some pretty cool things happened. Or terrifying – it’s all a matter of perspective. On one hand, I’ve ensured that my life is going on some sort of a track, thin and lean as it may be; there’s now a bit of a point to it. I like to think so, at least. On the other, I’ve had to come to terms with the observation that my body is very fragile, that it’s getting older, less cooperative with my mind, and ultimately, it’s the boss of me. Basically, it’s finally starting to register that mortality is a real thing, and it’s got me scared shitless (sometimes literally – this year I’ve had the worst bouts of constipation since I can’t even remember when.) Also, I’ve learned that hormones and chemistry are a very, very powerful thing. More powerful than will (where are you, my cynical 20 year old self?) I’m so glad I was never into drugs.
Ugh, the roundabout way led me to forgetting the point of all this. Maybe the point was to simply put words on paper, errr, screen. Which is so desperately what I need to be doing, but in a different screen. 🙂 Til’ morning!